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Articles by: Charlie

Valentine's Day for Dummies
Saint Valentine's Day rolls around just once a year. And if you've been married as long as I have, your chances for sex don't come much more often. 'There's always next year' is a fine mantra for a Cubs fan or a Libertarian, but not for a lover. So d...

How I Feel About Pirates
Pirates are BAD because they steal booty from other people. The only people that should get to steal booty from other people is me. Also, I should get a pet parrot. And get to say, 'Arrrrr!' whenever I want.Pirates are GOOD because when I do pretend ...

Good News for Goofballs
I've found that there's a gap in the set of self-help and how-to books available. Sure, there are books to improve your outlook, and boost your self-esteem. If you want to learn to cook, or start a business, or patent your idea for self-buttering waf...

Twelve Simple Rules for Sucking Less Than 'Eight Simple Rules'
America is a country of sitcom watchers. We all like a nice chuckle now and again, but unfortunately the good shows are outnumbered, outgunned, overwhelmed, and often obliterated by the bad.In an effort to stem the tide of inane, sugary pap gushing d...


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