Behavior Modification- It IS Possible
Behavior Modification like behavior management & Anger Management is misnamed. Humans naturally resists getting modified or managed. Men and women work just like springs: the harder you push on them the harder they resist. The better approach is Self Modification as a form in a Manualized Cognitive Restructuring Workbook. Cognitive Restructuring if done correctly has the ability to go deep and change faulty thoughts and self defeating behaviors. The following is one illustration of cognitive restructuring text.
Amy was incessantly afraid of Cord. She could do no right when he was around. He possessed strong muscles and if he ever he lost his temper in livid anger, his fist became a fatal weapon that might kill her in one hit. Her 128 pound body had little defense.
Amy came between him and his sexual fantasies and longing for different females. Consequently he would trigger in her the very conduct that he himself disliked so that he could justify his belligerent actions. He was deeply self deceived and believed everything was her fault. He was always concentrating on her inadequecies when really she was a loyal, talented, educated woman and loving mother.
Amy joined millions of other women and men caught up in the fog of abuse, terrible existence of fear, worry and confusion. Different from abuse by a stranger, strong cords of attachment and involuntary programming keep the abused completely fastened to the abuser in an eternal ritual of abuse.
Domestic violence is a disease that is, it's rooted deeply in ones life. It produces countless symptoms and, unless the disorder is eliminated, the symptoms will continue.
1. What are some of the symptoms or signs of domestic violence? _____________________________
2. How come domestic violence is more emotionally damaging than abuse by someone you don't know? ___________________________
3. How did Amy destroy her disease? ____________________________________________________________
4. What happens if her and people similar to her dont permanently stop the abuse through total separation but remain attached to their abuser? ___________________________________________________________
5. Cutting the ties is often very frightening and it can hurt a lot. Why should we avoid judging those who stay in abusive relationships? __________________________________
Those who are abused need encouragement and support, not disdain. T or F?
6. How should you successfully sever the emotional ties of a disastrous marriage? ________________________________________
VALIDATION
To completely comprehend the deep gulf of domestic violence, one must comprehend the high that one gets through interdependency, where the man and the woman have their hierarchy of emotional and physical needs satisfied. Satisfying one's Hierarchy of Physical needs which are: air, water, food, clothing, housing isn't complicated, but satisfying someone's emotional needs is another question. Please take the following test:
On a scale from 1-5, rate your marriage in the last two years.
Need to be loved - I felt a deep love from my partner; He/She was always there for me.
Need to be validated My partner made me feel that I was a good person.
Need to be affirmed My partner made me feel important; I made a difference in his/her life.
Need to be understood My partner listened to me; What I said was understood.
Need to be appreciated - My partner appreciated all that I did for him/her.
Need to be secure I had a home; I felt safe and secure in my environment.
Total=
Excellent: 30-24
Problem: 23-17
Harmful: 16-6
7. What did you score? ____ Which bracket did you fall into? _________ What does it mean? Does anything need to change?_______________
About the Author: Larry Lloyd founded the American Community Corrections Institute. ACCI sponsors a news blog on the topic of criminal behavior and related topics.
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Print Article | Download PDF | 184 views | May 21 2007
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