Children and Soft Addictions
Soft addictions involve any chronic, mindless conduct or mood. The most obvious ones are watching TV, overeating, Internet surfing and video game playing. However many others existgossiping, fantasizing, exercising, feeling sorry for oneself, going on shopping sprees and the like. The majority of parents arent startled by this type of conduct, assuming correctly that they are "normal". They become abnormal and detrimental to your childs development, however, when they become habits, robbing kids of the time, energy and initiative to engage in more important activities.
All children need time to be alone so they can reflect and explore. They require the freedom to think about whats most important in their lives and to gain knowledge and talents that will allow them to achieve their goals. Soft addictions are foes of reflection, discovery and skill development.
The media has documented the epidemic spread of soft addictions. Many of these reports suggest that kids are spending more time than they ever have sitting in front of computers, televisions and video game screens.
Additional studies reveal a shocking percentage of overweight children who are softly addicted to unhealthy foods including fast food restaurants, obsessed with celebrity worship and fanatical about shopping for just the right clothes is also rising. Parents can have perspective and need to be in charge of helping their kids manage these addictions. All too often, they model the very behaviors that encourage kids to fall into soft routines instead. For example, many parents come home from a day of work and spend the majority of their leisure hours slumped in front of the television, they overeat or even exercise religiously, not willing to miss their exercise no matter what else is happening in their lives. Other parents are examples of rumor-spreading behaviors, spending hours each day e-mailing and phoning friends to let them know who is fooling around with whom.
Im definitely not saying that parents or kids go "cold turkey" and quit all soft addictions. As human beings, most of us have a few addictions. We can still live a full, meaningful existence if these habits are part of our life, but, they need to be a minor part. We work with many adultsprofessionally successful people who are also parents who all admit the same exact thing about their lives: "There must be more than this."
There is, but they will not uncover it unless they use their time and energy on more conscious, meaningful activities. This does not mean they have knit sweaters for homeless children in Siberia and labor in soup kitchens feeding the hungry (even though these are great activities). Reviving the fine art of conversation, visiting friends, going for walks in the woods, expressing their feelings to people they care about, listening to inspirational musicall this can add meaning.
It can also provide a healthy behavioral example for their kids. Consciously or not, kids are great copycats, and softly-addicted parents usually produce softly-addicted kids. Its very difficult for parents to get kids to quit watching so much television when they are guilty of the exact same type of mindless, habitual behaviors. Parents will find, that if they learn to spend their time more meaningfully, their own lives will be more satisfying and theyll help produce more satisfying lives for their kids.
About the Author: Judith Wright is an author, speaker, and seminar leader. She teaches workshops to help people overcome soft addictions and creating "More" for 12 years. You can contact her through her Web site at www.theremustbemore.com. See also ACCI Life Skills
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