Advice: Family Relations are Built by Knowing Each Other
Here is some simple and straight forward advice: family relationships are built only if you know who they are and what THEY want. Period! You don't create good relationships by giving a present or speaking to a family about something that doesn't interest them. To create or recreate close relationships pay attention to their likes and dislikes and focus on those things.
I do remember many years ago (about 1964) my older brother saved up money, went to the store and bought for my mother a beautiful birthday (or maybe it was a mother day's) gift .... a baseball glove! This was the nicest and most precious thing in the eyes of a twelve year old boy in the '60's. When we tell this story in my house my mother tells us that she thought at the time that it was very sweet and that she was really moved by it. (She never did use it but returned it to the store and exchanged it for a present for my brother)
A young child who does his best to please his parents is very touching even if he missed the mark. However imagine how your wife would react if you would give here a brand new electric shaver or beer machine for an anniversary gift? And how would you feel if your wife would give you a gift certificate for free manicure or some flowers for a birthday present? It probably wouldn't strengthen the relationship. Right?
The same goes with words. For instance, let's say that you haven't spoken to your brother in a long time and you finally build up the courage to call him on his birthday to say hello. To break the ice you say some good "Bush" (or "Clinton") joke... but right after the words come out of your mouth you remember that he is a staunch Republican (or Democrat)! This also isn't going to build a close relationship, right?
If you are really interested in close family relationships, remember this simple advice: family relationships are built, rebuilt, and sustained only after you know and address your spouse's, children's, or sibling's tastes and interests; so take the time to get to know them.
About the Author: Shevach Pepper is the happy father of 12 children. He is a family/parent/life coach helping successful people to utilize their professional skills in their personal life. For free tips on family matters and solid parenting advice visit http://www.greatfamilyman.com
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