Modern Moves
You like someone, that someone likes you. Sounds simple enough right? But what happens next? In this day and age where more and more people are concerned about getting their egos quashed and bruised to the point that they won’t make the first move it’s no wonder so many of us continue to subscribe to singlehood. And it seems that we’re as picky as ever when it comes to the dating game. In a recent Yes Dating Poll only 25% of people said they make the first move when seeking a potential partner – how are we ever suppose to get to first base if we can’t even take a swing?
Unless you’re James Bond (if you are, please send me your phone number) then you have probably stumbled over this block before. Suavely walking your way over to a super hot girl or guy at the bar without the fear of having a drink thrown in your face is not the rigour de jour nor is confidently asking the person you’ve had a crush on for over year if they want to catch a movie with you. Sometimes the very thought of putting yourself out there can send more shivers down your spine than the latest Britney Spears sex tape.
It’s even rumoured that Paris Hilton follows the rule of avoiding the first move. She allegedly never asks a man for their phone number because she believes that if they are really interested then they will approach her. But for the rest of us who don’t have millions of dollars tucked away and our own reality TV show, this plan of no attack will usually leave us all alone on the weekend rather than on page five of the latest gossip rag. The only way to get a date, it seems, is to mercilessly go out there with our hearts beating away on our sleeves.
The good news is that thanks to wonderful inventions like the internet and mobile phones modern daters are now able to create a soft wall of cyberspace protection around our very vulnerable egos. Imogen Lloyd Webber, author of the Single Girl’s Guide, offers this gem of advice once you’ve struck up a conversation with the cutie in question. “If digits are still not looking close to being exchanged, steer the talk round to MySpace to see if he [or she] has a page and say you should both connect as friends, or mention an amusing email forward he [or she] just has to see, and then give him [or her] your card.”
The next step is the most thrilling part of the dating game and because you are now conducting your moves with the help of electronics at a comfortable distance, you can make that move that you would never dare to make face to face. This is kind of like those situations in early high school where you would get your friend to tell their friend that you like him/her. Except nowadays your friends are emails and text messages.
Webber recommends keeping emails to work hours and text messages to after hours. “I try not to day text Monday to Friday. There is always email, which is less invasive and permissible during work hours and if [a person] is in full professional flow [they] will not take too kindly to being interrupted,” she explains. “If you must day text, do not expect an immediate response.” Keep your messages light and fun but don’t go too casual; “Kisses in texts, as in emails, are a minefield. If in doubt, put a smiley face instead of a kiss. Or just leave it,” advises Webber. Once you’ve developed a witty banter between the two of you, all you have left to do is suggest that you catch up for a drink.
Of course, while technology can make the dating jungle so much easier to navigate through, it also has its fair share of pitfalls and there are many landmines you want to try to avoid. Just because you have your current crush’s phone number doesn’t mean you should be drunk dialing them at 2am in the morning with phone in one hand and martini in the other. If you are ever tempted to do so, hand your phone over to a trusty friend, instructing them not to give it back until you are well and truly sober.
Nor should you allow the comfortable distance created by cyberspace to act as your security blanket to the point where you aren’t willing to take your romantic liaisons beyond your email inbox. This sort of behaviour only encourages a pen pal relationship and let’s face it, if you are over the age of 12 you are probably looking for something a little hotter than that.
If used wisely (yes, that means put down that cocktail) a single person’s cyberspace is perhaps the best thing to come out of the modern world (how else could you access the joys of this article?) so use it to your advantage and hopefully you’ll be sharing your phone number and email address with a hottie in no time.
About the Author: RedHotPie is Australia’s largest online dating site with webcam chat, singles events & dating articles. Singles dating is for girls & guys looking to meet friends, find love & relationships. Uncut adult dating is for singles and swingers looking for casual dating, adult chat rooms, forums, adult swingers parties & sex stories. Visit them at www.redhotpie.com.au
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