Cognitive Restructuring- Relationships
The following story & questions represent an illustration of some text and curriculum that can be found in a Cognitive Restructuring Manualized Workbook.
The Millers and Johnsons resided in the same rural county and attended the same schools. They saw each other frequently. Scott Miller was the same age as Jason and once saved him in the sixth grade when a group of older bullies were giving him a beating.
Bloodied and semi-conscious, Jason awoke to Scott's younger sister, Jenny, as she was crying and cleaning the blood from his face, his head in her lap. He was saddened to see his teacher arrive as he secretly had a crush on this angel with deep brown eyes.
Once Jason finished serving detention he moved to another state to get a job with his uncle in the construction business and lost communication with Jenny. Before long he was out on his own. He bought old homes and then cleaned them up to resell. At age 23, he went back to his hometown and found most of his kin living in the swamp of despair.
Regardless of the fact that he suffered many effects from childhood abuse, he had liberated himself from the heavy shackles of his past. He was able to forgive his mother and the father he hardly knew. His view of others changed. He discovered a deep freedom. The world he encountered sprang up from his new vision and therein lay his destiny � a life of trials, but a life of giving and receiving love.
Because of his change of heart and improved self-esteem, Jason was able to gather enough courage to knock on Jenny's front door. Jenny was home from college for Christmas vacation. Before he was arrested and sent to detention, he was a regular visitor to the Miller home. He had once saved Scott's life when he had hit his head at the local swimming hole and almost drowned.
It had been six years since he had seen Jenny and he was not prepared for the beautiful creature who answered the door. In the beginning she did not even recognize him as he stuttered and attempted to get a few words out. But, before long the words came out, "Jenny. It's me, Jason." With a shriek, catching Jason off guard, Jenny hugged her old friend.
As the weeks went by, with his frequent visits to Jenny's college, their deep friendship became a deep love, and in July they were married, committing to each other their eternal love and loyalty. Their life together became synergistic, greater than what they could've become alone.
1. The greatest joy or pain found in life comes from our relationships with those around us T or F?
2. The true feelings you have for someone are always seen as they are and not as you try to make them. No matter how vigorously you attempt to persuade someone you love them it won�t work unless you truly do love them. T or F?
3. Responsive people attract others because they have empathy and genuinely care for others. Who do you know like this? Explain: ___________________________________________________________
4. Resistant individuals are users who often treat others as objects not people. Are you acquainted with someone like this? Explain: ___________________________________________________________
5. Answer "T" for true or "F" for false.
__ A bitter life is an empty life.
__ Shut eyes stumble when it's dark.
__ Warring minds become faint.
__ Resistant people gladly accept the truth.
__ You can discover what you wish for most in other people.
___ Those who are resistant fall into the pits dug for other people.
___ The more you do for yourself the happier you are.
___ When you validate someone, you are accepting them without trying to change them.
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About the Author: Larry Lloyd is the founder of American Community Corrections Institute (ACCI), which sponsors a news blog on the subject of criminal behavior and related issues.
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