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The Religion Of Football
Here in Alabama, there are three classes of people: Alabama Crimson Tide fans, Auburn Tiger fans, and atheists. Two of the three will go to Hell when they die. Which two depends entirely on who you ask. Those Alabamians who like football but have no ... The Real McCaugheys
The birth of the McCaughey Septuplets has everyone thinking and talking babies. Even couples who have never before felt the desire to hear the pitter-patter of little feet stepping all over their stuff are considering taking the plunge. You hear them... The New Fab Four
The news of their arrival reached these shores long before they did. A massive ad campaign introduced them to America and touted their status as Britain's "New Fab Four." There was an extensive media blitz launched by the television network that woul... The Intelligent Diaper
I believe it was Frank Zappa who said, "Necessity is the mother of invention," which means that if there is a public need for something, sooner or later, someone will invent it; and then Microsoft will steal the idea, produce a cheaper, far inferior ... The Four Letters Between PG & R
When I was a kid, there were certain words you just didn't say in front of your parents, or any grownup suspected of being a parental snitch. Swear words, my mama called them, cuss words, words little kids shouldn't say lest the Bad Word Police come ... The Dust Settles On Miss America
When I was a hormonally-challenged lad of eleven or so, the Miss America Pageant was a very big deal to me. After all, it was the one night of the year when the network ditched The Partridge Family and Room 222 in favor of beautiful women sauntering ... Staying Alive
What if someone handed you a pill and said, "Take this pill and you will live to be 120 years old." Would you take the pill? What if they said, "Not only will you live longer, but your body will stop aging from this point on. You can be 120 years old... Sometimes Life Just Ain't Funny
There's an old southern saying that goes, "Don't like the weather? Just hang around a few minutes. It'll change." Anyone who's spent much time in Alabama can relate to that one. It's not uncommon to wake up to a blue sky filled with brilliant sunshin... Some People Will Eat Anything
WARNING: This week's column contains news so scary, so utterly horrific, that I, the author of said column, hereby declare that I will not be held responsible for the mental anguish or irreparable emotional damage caused by reading it. In fact, I did... Some Guys Have All The Luck
When I was in high school the best way to meet girls was to join a rock'n'roll band. These days you'd be better served by joining The Young Democrats Club. Thanks (in no small part) to the "alleged" escapades of our beloved President Bill "Do You Wan...
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